Diary of an ex femina miss india contest

It’s a cold winter morning and the quilt feels like my BFF right now warming me up as I go through my FB homepage.  Almost every second update is about some pageant or someone getting married, its winters so you do expect your fb page to get flooded with big fat indian wedding pictures but updates  about the potential beauty queens and the fans bashing other contestant to show support to their favorite contestant is something I’ve never understood .

Miss India didn’t just happen to me but I worked my butt off to be there in the top slot. I had prepared many years and groomed for it, worked hard on my body, gone through painful beauty procedures, three hours of gyming, yoga, buying makeup and dresses that costed me a bomb. Saying like this might sound cliché that ‘ Its always had been my dream to be a Miss India’  it indeed was mine too.

On the day of selection I got ready using my youtube taught techniques which I’ve been learning for years now and did hot bouncy wavy hair and Victoria secret kinda makeup ( gorgeously natural with heavy lashes) and reached the venue where a team of hair and makeup artists was doing it for the unprepared girls i.e the not-so-intrested girls who never really cared of grooming themselves but were there because the pageant lovers think they were beautiful and don’t even need to know that its ‘pageant’ and not ‘paegent’  cuse the team will make them win it anyways . It was a long and tiring process but the judges liked me and there I was standing amongst selected contestants and posing for the media like a venezulean beauty queen ( admit it that we all do it the Venezuelan way even if its about India).

And now started the real thing-The training. The team sounded very particular about being punctual, diet and the blah blah blah so we obeyed the rules (ok sometimes not coz of the late night so called official parties and shots  were too much to handle) . Being an avid follower of Miss India for so many years I must say that they are doing it better and better each year in terms of sponsors, dresses, designers, location etc  and even the coming year looks so posh. Our training was tough but fruitful. I’ve met the best people from the industry, be it for diction, costumes, diet, communication etc. I would like to mention Sabira Merchant ahh! what a lady, I don’t have enough words to express how much I adore this lady,apart from her the team included the best of the best. The pageant always have a favourite and the deciding factor is how apt you are for bollywood screen… and this favourite from the organization becomes the favourite of the pageant predictors because they can sense it that she is gonna win and they tag her as their favourite coz they don’t want their  elite expert predictor tag in danger…Well, There were times when the girls,myself included actually wanted to turn into a chandalika and vomit all that they knew was happening inside and wanted to kill the fav girl but keeping in mind their one in billion chance of getting that main crown,they resisted it everytime . Apart from that we never really had cat fights coz the cold wars substituted very well for that, the chaperons were the real spies who use to tell the team what their favorite has been up to.. but only if they were ready to listen.

Talking about the subcontests..well I think the sub-contests are a complete joke because it doesn’t count anywhere in the main score,some subtle and their titles were so bizarre. No matter what they say that your behavior is being noticed, we are going to select the top finalist on the basis of your punctuality etc etc- its BULLSHIT because the ones selected (top 10-12)  from our batch on the main day were too dumb to answer, were throughout known for their unpunctuality, tagged as stubborn by the chaperons and yes too weak to question the results. The drama went on for long and their favorites were announced the winners and now its time to fake how shocked we were to see them win- whatever, we knew it was coming,were quite prepared and already had our gossip session with fellow ‘deserving’ mates  how it was going to happen so it was a dull moment for us. I honestly didn't think I was gonna win,I thought I would either win it all or nothing,and I was happy not to win any mundane title,I was more upset about the girls whom I knew deserved more then they got.

 

For their fav(winner)  they have a policy and it is ‘saat khoon maaf’ it doesn’t matter what you do you’ll always be our fav.. so anyways its all about the ultimate  winner and it doesn’t count how good the other contestants were and its India, even if the hero kills the villian’s 36 rented gundays and someone stops him from killing the real villian, he is announced ‘bekasoor’. But besides this, it was something  I will always cherish,my journey, I’ve met the most beautiful souls, such inspiring people, I’ve seen amazing talents and so much more. It is indeed like a fairytale only a part of it is scripted otherwise it makes you believe in the power of your dreams. And it has given me so much in terms of knowledge, exposure, publicity (even my dry-cleaner and the bar-tenders in my city they know who I am ;p). I just wish it was more real and provided equal justice to the better deserving girls (there were so many girls who were better in every way )there was no sense of competition which takes away the drive in every girl(including the winner) to put in their bet and fight for the crown,nationally and internationally.   And then you pageant lovers say why is India lacking, yes we read all ur comments and know each of your names and ur tags,it's because 1 or 2 girls are chosen to win,1 more is chosen as potential among 5 6 hopefuls,rest are filler.  How can India place if the girl is all about the looks, no brains, dolled up by the army of hired professionals and marketed by your country’s leading publishing house.. You need a girl who can speak for herself, dress up like a million bucks on her own, has networking skills, dominates with her mere presence on the world stage- that’s what you call a personality cuse you can’t send your team of professional along with your future bollywood diva to talk, walk  and rock on her behalf. We as country need a wholesome representative,not an idea of that representative backed by experts who cuts the umbilical cord the moment their paycheck arrives.

But what I learned from my Miss India experience was they always look for potential Bollywood queen and not beauty queens. So the girls who want to enroll themselves in this major pageant should understand that ‘Miss India has always been my dream’ actually means ‘ I’m desperate to get into bollywood’. I hope Miss India organization takes a notice of their downfalls and gives us real beauty queens coz they are investing a lot but are sailing in wrong direction . Their investments should also be on a girl who will fight till the end like example Vanya Mishra,in a normal scenario,she wudve been top 10 at best, by fluke,luck or destiny,she won and till now remains Miss world 2012 in the hearts of many people. It's a beauty pageant,the winner is not gonna suit everybody's taste,there are some people today who still claims to not find Aishwarya Rai beautiful and might pass a lie detector test saying it.,but we are all beautiful,what's lacking is the substance and drive that used to be the criteria to win,there were years when a stunning girl didn't make past top 10 coz she had nothing but her beauty,now the same girl would win in today's scenario and no offense to her,God bless her but she will be lost internationally!The most beautiful girl can be lost in a sea of most beautiful girls from 80 countries,the most wholesome and driven girl will make everyone stand up and read her sash,and that's when u call a girl stunning,she literally stuns you,so let's find a girl among 30 beautiful girls who is the most stunning and yes,competition is necessary,even if you don't win,you can blame yourself ,walk out learning lessons on how to improve,winners appreciate her crown and value it,plonking a crown on a on the basis of facial beauty only makes the winner lazy and the rest of the girls bitter.

Would i take part again?most probably not . Will I cherish it?absolutely,to this day I can safely tell myself that I didn't lose coz I never competed for Femina Miss India,I was just a participant like the rest of my coz contestants.

Miss World 2014 - i will announce the number of my pubic hair in reverse order....

             

      Congratulations to the very well deserved ,probably wud've won any year if she competed except 1994,Rolene Strauss,the test tube lady(a test that went rather well) from South Africa was crowned Miss World at last night's shindig that happened in London(yawn,Julia's very own Las Vegas).

                  It began with sum singer singing we love girls and we do,it immediately moved on to my favourite segment,dances of the world and it also immediately became my not so favourite segment,i mean was the talent so scarce this year or the performers were picked out from a box of toffe wrappers???they all sucked!!! For sumone who says she is a classically trained and also comtemporary trained,  Koyal's dance reminded me of a overage aunty's first performance in Jhalak Dikhlaja.......how does sumone mess up a bollywood number is beyong me,hav u never gotten drunk and attended a wedding Koyal??jus listen to the music and gyrate every damn bone on ur body,dats how its done,the icing on the cake was,when she stopped to re-adjust her ghagra,was it flown in via-agra that it gave u so much trouble????Dont even get me started on the cowboy number by USA,like,wtf girl,is that the only culture USA has to offer???the potluck of all countries???Anyways goodbye to the dances of the world that ill never rewatch,ill probably just rewatch oka choka li dance from last year's Namibia's performance.........Megan was a good host TBH but my favourite is the unassuming and unintentionally funny Julia Morley offspring Steve,oh how they remind me of the evil mother son duo from Miss Congeniality hehehe.........i dint care to remember the other two names but the gay one was super annoying,come out come out of the closet...The girls then paraded in their evening gowns and boy we got to see some major fashion and major fuck ups and miss venezuela also(i thought they dint participate this year)The moment Royal Koyal glided down with her Megan bun and her transparent wrap,i immediately thought,oh boy 90's is here,the only thing missing was the signature diana,yukta,priyanka neckline........i love Lorene's elegant oscar salmon gown(its salmon now girls,bye bye royal blue),the work on Thailand's gown was exquisite,USA's gown was also majorly impactful.
                                How gorgeous did Aishwarya Rai looked in her Roberto Cavali number???she could compete and still win but if she decides to bring her mummy,hubby and adorable Aradhya in a place where she is being honoured,its a bit of a stretch,look girls,i got the Hubby,the kid,the fame ,the money and the mummy,like puhleeze girl,let me rot in my miserable life,i dt need to see anyone have it all like you,and wat abt the ugly black hooker dresses the girls were wearing for that dance like you are at a wedding number????Miss World is known for class,even Trump wudve found that segment cheap,Aishwarya dont need a bunch of girls dressed identitical in ugly dresses to stand out,lemme repeat,no i dt wanna type again bt still,sentiments.......the unrehearsed,be yourself segment brought out the sexuality of some girls faster than Sunny Leone dancing in a Gurgaon beer bar.It was unnecessary,classless and pitiful,like ,the virus Ebola
                 They first announced the interview scores and sadly,a country (in)famous for their interview skills dint even make top 25(even Kanishta did)and i knew we were in trouble,one by one all the fasttracks were announced with the semifinalists on stage ,what happened with the girls backstage who knew they no longer stand a chance in hell to win wud've been a sight to see........it was major WTF after WTFs as winners were called,the first one being the so called sing off,its american fuckin idol now???i dt wanna hear of a girl yapping in a high pitched voice with words i havnt heard,dats for rich people to enjoy and pretend to appreciate coz they no longer love normal things.The second major WTF was beauty with a purpose,the judges couldnt make a decision???fuck you,feed that bullshit to your fermented ass,if they couldnt make a decision that means they failed as judges and shudve been fired and left naked in the cold London streets pronto and probably throw ice cold water on them,how hard is it to pick one???Guyana shudve won,simple as that!!!Bosnia and Herzegozivaaree according to Megan was also another wtf,as host,miss world and a human,she shud know how to pronounce Bosnia and Herzegovina.

                  The show was fast paced up until now but Julia was tired of seeing excited faces so she started her random menopausal moves with the selection of top 5,as to how she and her employees,mind you,none of them were real people,people on her payroll or have been on her payroll rather ,selected the top 5 was ball scratching material. Since it was a pretty good group until England was announced,it was ok,oh England ,the woman who got ready in 1984,was stored in a  time capsule and released this year,whoever said Rolene's capsule baby was a rarity dint see this coming,the chinatown satin fabric,the glove,the circa 1980 prom hair,perfection,30 years ago..........at this point i stopped watching coz i was hoping the crown was bought for Koyal this year and although i am against Koyal,i thght it'd be ncie to see India win but hell no,the only benefit of all the money spent on Koyal and Julia was the so called no.1 position in the leaderboard,a copy of which i wanna print,roll it up and shove it up u kno who's ass...........A screaming Natasha Grover,who probably is down with minor problems like depression and major issues like a fucked up throat from all the screaming could be seen sitting right behind Julia and 3 rows above 2 other judges(the sleeping chinese man from 2012 finally was overthrown by these judges who decided to sit and snack with the audience,lol)besides gargling down salt in warm water,Natasha,you revolutionised the Miss India brand,maybe its time to re-evaluate the beuaty quotient, woh sabse shine karti hai is a line you could tell the loosing contestants bt not to Julia and her bitches,she did shine the most bt not like a diamond but like an invisible shine among a cluster of better shaped,better polished and better determined Diamonds and yes, its Koyal we speak of again.
       


            After finding out that Diandra Soares has been eliminated and Salman Khan is the kind of guy you MUST laugh at when he jokes,i switched back to see the girls singing you are the wind under my wings,you are the reason i was made,to      JULIA MORLEY!!!excuse me???fuck me Mike Tyson but I mean,did they have an option to refuse to be officially declared a Julia Morley prison bitch infront of a billion live audience?wind under my wings???is she holding a wind machine under the aeroplanes they flew into London from???reason i was made??what,is she gonna marry 121 girls each year???made for what??to please her ego???to satisfy her needs???is there a limit to kissing someone's ass or rather making people kiss your ass???this was the moment Ladies and Gentlemen,atleast Hitler had the balls to torture and punish the ones he dint like,with Julia,you have to do the ass kissing,even if she hates you or you belong to a useless country(for her)like, Guam.Apparently,the girls were interviewed but who wants to hear them speak anyway???Mrs,Morley touched my soul and gave me a giant spiritual orgasm,no thank you...........winners were announced and Hungary should win Miss Universe like,tomorow and usa is Natalie Glebova's Sneha Ullal(uglier version) and they sang and lived happily ever after in the Julia Morley manson where she fans their winds and remind them of their purpose of existence,in all these,i forgot to mention how i love Rolene,if there was  a consolation to enduring that 2.5 hours of major snooze fest and Julia Morley ego seduction video,it was her getting the crown,she so deserved it,she reminds me of Brook Shields ,so statesque and empowering,i would buy anything she is selling,Have a great reign Rolene.

credit to owner of images..........

Miss Supranational 2014 goes to.............................

         

          So we are late again bt who cares,its still a celebration,we won Miss Supranational 2014,we actually won the Supranational title for 2014 thanks to the fabulous Asha Bhat,we are so happy and thank ful to this leggy beauty that we almost wanna land up wer she lives and give her a giant french kiss on her crown.......never has the crown,title or sash graced our country and Asha has brought these things plus pride to our country on a medium unexplored,it is such a huge thing to be the first to do anything in life before others and to do that while bringing pride to ur country,at 22 dats most of us could just dream of doing that or at 32 or sum of you would just bring shame,lol. 

So,congrats to Asha on her amazing accomplishment. We never had doubts abt Asha to be perfectly honest,she could've won ANY pageant she went to,but no other pageant wudve gotten her the bragging rights to be crowned as the first ,unlike say Urvashi Rot-in-hella who wins international pageants that are held once and then forgotten in history as that thing that dint deserve to be remembered. 

                    I loved her performance,she owned the very expensive and elaborate stage like it was no one else's business,the production and quality of entertainment beyond most of the recent Miss universe pageants and all of Miss World,Supra is on its way to glamourising pageants in its true form,beauty and entertainment,no advocacy bull shit,what's the point of saying something doing nothing about it,it's been 10 years and the hole in the ozone layer has actually increased and global warming is at an all time high due to hostile crazy fanatics declaring world war 3 on anyone who speaks against Miss *hint fart hint*,Supra stands for power beyond country and Government rules.....wonder what our new queen would do with her power,we hope she fires Obama coz he is a terrible President,ban the military rule in Myanmar and help Au Sang ,our education system India,so many things to choose from wonder what she will do with her powers. What we want though is for her to get a kick ass bollywood resume and do some damage to Katrina Kaif s career coz that's the battlefield all of us indian hope to win at least once in our lifetime and with the euphoria of her win and the experience she has gained,backed by the media giant Times of India,the possibilities are limitless. We wanna advice her to enjoy for a while,map out her plan,look at her options carefully and not get carried away and Asha,the engineering thing is history now so pls dt even contemplate that idea anymore and whatever it is enjoy every moment and continue to kick major asses ....we wish you all the luck in your career and future ahead.

Credits to Miss Supranational fb page for images...........

Manasvi Mamgai's action is better than Jackson!!!

                  This weekend,the world will witness the most important event of the year,Manasvi Mamgai will make her bollywood debut and oh boy,does she......Every review she is appreciated,whistles,claps and hooting ruled whenever she appeared onscreen,we were at the screening and could nt believe that this girl was denied the miss world crown i choked on my coke the moemnt she appeared and acted her guts out,literaly where a goon is trying to molest her or smething,from the moment she starts yearning for AJ,sweats dripped inside the freezing pvr theartre with a/c on full blasts,suddenly couples on dates started arguing,girls were busy lookng anything but the screen,stealing sneaky side stares to see if where their man's eyes were glued where they dint want it to be glued,teenagers with their families were busy whatsapping their frens abt this great movie and hot babe they need to bunk their next couple of classes for, so much was the euphoria and chaos created inside the theatre by Queen Manasvi, i didnt sweat but a tiny tear rolled down my eyes,looking at the girl i saw in elite like 10 years back and was praying would win Miss India sum day and now she is there,infront of me and people r goin fuckin nuts over her, rarely does it happen that u ananimously follow sumone from the side and they achieve the ultimate success and you stare at them like this,so proud of her like u wud be of ,if they were one of your real frens,i had that moment and i wanna thank Manasvi me for doin me proud as a fan and as an eternal admirer,

.........before posting,I did a bit of hustle bustle thru google and found an interesting interview where she mentions she was devastated for one year when she didn't win Miss World,trust us Manasvi,the feeling was mutual with us too.

Earlier this year,a man dressed like Nicole Faria made his debut in a movie called yaariyan,dunno abt yaariyan  bt watching it made us wanna kill our friends who dragged us to the theatre to watch that monstrosity of a movie which can be best described as Divya Khosla's way of saying,I'm rich,I can do anything fuckers!!! Despite being branded mediocre by he-Nicole ,Manasvi's debut is anything but that,A list director,A list stars and a sure shot formula to a roaring 100 crore collection movie. Cherry on top???She has a kick ass item number titled,Gangster Baby,which will bring in all the $$$ thru stage shows,Guess Manasvi's winning habit never really went away,she just did it different this time.

Have u noticed the subtle or maybe coincidental nods to Miss World fast tracks ???we sure have...below is a collection of stills that had us crackling with the irony attached to the fast tracks, for now,book your tickets and guys,don't wear tight pants...here's to Manasvi, the woman who will win the biggest title of all,Queen of Bollywood.

Gangster baby video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kh2V9kJlimo 

Link to her very honest and heartfelt TOI interview, which can bring tears to even Nicole Faria's eyes.......she will lose her grey contacts when she does so,bt she will still cry......http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/hindi/bollywood/news/Manasvi-Mamgai-I-am-proud-of-having-made-it-on-my-own-without-either-my-father-or-a-Godfather/articleshow/45307243.cms

Credit to Eros ent. ,google images and pagalworld.com for Images and video
and timesofindia for article.

Miss FARTH 2014

Hello pageant puppets, Pageant police is in the house...last time we posted,we were all Alankrita in our tone but we are now depressed due to the mockery of a pageant that unfortunately exists in this world,it was founded by a bunch of jobless hijras and an old lady who politely accepts money for crown. The main reason of its existence however way they mother nature fart into  our throats is to please the over populated Philipinos all over the world who have three things in common,they all always seem to be infront of their computers,they all are tickling time bombs to anything dats is less than perfect when sumone is talking about their country and no fear of Lucifer or God when defending their ivory tower of a country that sumhow blessed us less mortals with their presence in this Earth. Yes I hate everything associated with the Philippines and no my best fren is not Pinoy,if I see one I'll probably pin them to the ground and kick them in the nuts if they hav one,since 78% of them are transvestites and of course fabulous. My only knowledge of the country stems from the time when voy forums were our only source of cursing our asses out in support of our pageant delegates,since that time,the amount of freedom these baboons enjoy over anonymity has baffled me, so much in need of approval they have from the world and themselves,thy created a pageant of their own to satisfy their dying egos, hence MISS EARTH was born, on the topic of honesty,we do not think Alankrita shudve won,she at best deserved a top 16 placement and I think she shud have . My gripe is with the millions of people who hav 100 to 1 percent of Philipino blood and bullying the pageant world with their dial up service provider. Girls did NOT spent hundreds of dollars coming to ur 3rd world country to see that yellow teeth bitch getting crowned. What the country lacks is originality,they have nothing of their own and riding on laurels of scraps thrown to them by the world, a copycat pageant,bad mashup of top 3 Pageants in the world, rebuttal techniques used by America's Next Top Model contestants and their so called borrowed roots of Latin America like wtf,Go Fuck Yourselves....they will now find a mental problem with me and I'm probably gonna get death threats,and you know what ???I'm gonna get immense satisfaction in that coz that is my intention. Of course I do believe there are some good and sensibles Pinoy out there but if I am to bring in pest control in my house,I won't be picking which pests don't bother me,hence the generalization. I overall think they should get a grip,stop being happy over their wins(it's like ur mama saying it's beautiful to an ugly painting u made,means nothing)and get a reality check. You are a bunch of jobless and lifeless losers who have nothing but time to beat ur own drums,NO ONE TAKES YOU SERIOUSLY ,corousel and the army of fags coming my way.

Miss Earth???eco???mother nature??? I'll have a better chance of convincing you to lick the shit off of my ass than you guys convincing actual enviromentalists to consider you a real deal. There are no warriors of mother earth,the only thing ur doing is polluting the world with ur unearthly sentiments and bullshit advocacy,my maid,no shez not Philipino,makes more money in a month than Miss Earth org has raised for the environment in their entire existence,if you wanna save mother earth, stay away from it!

Warning- Smiling may cause damage to the o-zone layer.

That seems to be the motto that the supremely poised however cold Alankrita Sahai is channeling during her stint at Miss Earth 2014......Miss Earth is generally modelled after Miss Universe in terms of the stage presentation and Miss International in terms of being monitored for your behaviour during the duration,it also has many sub titles and unnecessary activities like Miss World.......Some might wonder the lack of originality in the pageant but worry not,the girls also get to plant trees and sometimes visit kids and dying people. Sobhita last year seemed like a perfect fit coz the girl may not be the most polite or cheerful but she can fake it pretty good,yes,when she runs put of her mottos and phrases she reads online all day,she suddenly goes silent but out of the three that were "marc"ed last year, no one could argue that she was the one who put in the most effort,I'm talking abt Sobhita coz last year,rumor has it that the Filipino nunw who was chaperoning her had not so nice things to say abt her according to Filipino Misssosologists ,my worry is,Alankrita for some reason looks like she's ready to punch sumone or lost her teeth, one look at her photos till now and she looks like she is about to go on a corporate bidding war for stock shares of google, she seems so serious and ready to bite . Since we are generally a bitchy blog ,her organiser or she herself may not like what we hav to write or say but in all honesty what we say comes from a place of love and concern for our delegates,it's pageant that's on our hearts and not bitchiness , so one must understand that the message may not be delivered in a silk covered silver tray but it still is for the good. We liked Alankrita,she is old school miss india,the kind that come for the crown and soaks in the experience and come finale night ,grabs the mike and the crown in that order, pageants being driven lil by politics,business stats and favoritism these days(with which we are totally ok)a girl like Alankrita may be given too many reasons for her failure incase she does,the goal here is to make no mistakes and have them eat shit when they are being unfair,if they are being unfair,in the long run it would not be so disheartening to the girl and the organisation coz they will know they did their best. With Alankrita , we are writing this piece coz of the following pics accompanying this blog entry......she apparently was crowned(literally got a crown,mind you) for best casual wear,to us humans casual wear is a pair of sweatpants and one of the same design in 3 colors tshirt we bought on buy one get one free corner of a supermarket but her casual wear here is a black lacey number complete with the mandatory bling,as to why she isn't smiling or showing some kind of gratitude can be best answered by her and God,since we are not gonna be having a conversation with either one of them in the near future,we are assuming it's the Srishti Rana MAP like crown that had her pissed, in another pic where she literally looks like a super nanny or a socialite with 18 nannies,she reluctantly holds a baby and seems to not enjoy doing it,a  paraguan Asha Bhat is seen smiling next to her ,maybe givin her a hint or two, in a group selfie for Miss Philippines phone camera,she chooses to smoulder instead of the happiness the girls around her are spreading, which is understandable coz posing for her own phone camera she refrains from smiling while the paraguan Asha Bhat's jaw is probably hurting by now for the permanent smile planted on her face,she smiles in a group shot in one of the pics and it honestly creeps us out thinking what she actually might be thinking,in a rare real smile,she is wearing a yellow outfit which we dt like but hope her gown is in that color coz she looks really stunning and Miss Earth like ,in a shocking twist a few days later,wearing what seems to be a sponsored bikini judging by the quality,she looks like a kingfisher wannabe who just got an earful from Atul Kasbekar, Shruti iyer wud know what we mean.
We sincerely believe that the diva batch is miles ahead of the fmi batch this gear,to nurture so much hope from them and for Alankrita to hav not come out of her shell yet is an utter disappointment,we were honestly hoping for Asha to go to earth bt were equally thrilled with Alankrita coz thru out the diva series she more or less was top 3 in every round and we had so much expectations coz of that. We sincerely wish her all the best in her quest for the title and hope that it's a part of a large strategic planning made before she landed........As we speak Asha and Koyal have already made their way to their respective pageants,so it's gonna be a busy month......here's wishing all of them the very very very bestests of bests and hope for a no pink flouncy bridesmaid wear for their gowns, a topic which will be on our next post in the nest few hours.......

Credits to Femina fb page ,missosology and miss Earth org for images....thank you guys.

Plagiarism to a whole new level

So days before,out cry for plagiarism went to deaf ears as Alankrita wore the gown "designed" by Nivedita Saboo at the evening gown competitions of miss Earth and get this ,got the gold medal for it. Where is Gaurav Gupta???Where is the moral of these PEOPLE . RIP creativity and indian pride.

Credit to missosology for images or maybe i shud just say,its my on pic like Nivedita saboo wuld.

Here's the ink to our previous post...............

http://pageantpolice.blogspot.in/2014/11/uh-ooplagiarism-once-more.html

Ash and Sush.....legends that bind

Around this time 20 years ago,the whole witnessed the crowning of a Goddess claiming what rightfully is her.....Aishwarya Rai was crowned miss world 1994 and we relive those memories with tears on our eyes,it was also a special gift to Miss universe 1994 Sushmita Sen who's birthday is on 19th November.......she turns 39 today......the two titans of pageantry has this and many more to share for the rest of time .......A tribute to Ash and Sush as they are lovingly called,thanks for inspiring a generation and generations to come.....We also hope and pray for Noyonita Lodh and Koyal Rana to recreate the same magic........all the best to them.

Credit to owner of images.....

Uh oo.......Plagiarism once more......

While snooping around beautypageants.indiatimes.com , the fashion police got an alert and we were shocked to see what we saw,at first ,the first thing we could say was,so nice of Gaurav Gupta to lend his gown ,wait, why did he destroy the the bottom part and attach that awful cheap organza quenceneara costume reject fabric at the bottom but whoops.......our eyes went to the bottom and it's boldly written, designer- Nivedita Saboo, gee!!! we wonder where she got the idea to create this liquid beaded gold gown and organza monstrosity that resembles the Gaurav Gupta gown we saw on Deepika Padukone at the Filmfare Awards this year. As to how many problems we have with this entire situation is literally uncountable......

We wanna question the participants of this 1st degree fashion murder....

1st Nivedita Saboo- up until today we've never heard or known of your existence as a designer,is this a cry for attention,lack of creativity or plain hobby of fucking up a perfectly beautiful gown???? Repeat after us,copying at this level is theft!!! Just look at the way you have killed the beauty of the neck area or is it ur creative touch???why commit such a fashion crime, if you were lacking so much in creativity, why not google some unknown designer ,say in,Isreal and copy his/her design???To top it all off,it was worn by the queen bee of bollywood right now at the most prestigious award ceremony in india,how did you ever think you were gonna get away with it???baffles us....maybe that was ur intention.

Eesha Amiin- if only adding an extra E to your name would add anything to your styling credibility......We've heard of her sadly, she's been associated with Femina Miss India for sometym now, long ago Ami Patel, Priyankachopra s stylist said that if a garment was worn overseas like, say in a hollywood event,repeating in India is perfectly ok coz the market is different,we agree to that on every level but look at the stupidity of your action, you've not only chosen an ugly,modified version of a stunning gown but you've also given it to a short girl(for pageant standards) Alankrita Sahai a gown that cuts her off at her knees and makes her look 5.2 ,cut off by dat ugly fabric, I doubt any stylist with an acceptable amount of taste in fashion to give something that includes that fabric to a girl representing the country internationally. We are most mad at the stylist at this point coz the designer had a chance of making that gown and vanishing into watever fashionless hole she crawled out of......but for a stylist to do this!!! Don't you do your homework, look around other stylists works,check event photos???how do you function??do u sit in Nivedita Saboo's "studio" sipping cutting chai and throwing watever comes to your hands to the nearest victim???we feel sorry for Alankrita, God knows what other copy items does she have in her suitcase if she was styled by this so called stylist .......it would also be interesting to see what Gaurav has to say about this.....

We wanna question the people involved with the shoot,seriously not one of them stopped to ask whaaaaaaaat???? Anyways we will give them the benefit of doubt coz it was not their job

Finally ,do we remmber the Elie Saab and Rajat Tangri fiasco in 2010 when the latter gave a cheaper version of Saab's creation to Ushoshi Sengupta??? Atleast the designer bother to changed sides of the arm and color.....unlike Madam Nivedita who just added again,dat ugly fabric.....oo Ohhh my eyes!!!!

Credits to owners of images.
Highheelconfidential.com beautypageants.indiatimes.com missosology forum.

Aishwarya Rai's Aadhi kilo ka haath

Aishwarya Rai, the only living Goddess of the World for the pat few years was weathering some unnecessary storm in the form of her pregnancy,motherhood,weight gain,blah blah blah.....
Some comment i read online even referred her arms to a dhai kilo ka haath flaunting Sunny,(Deol not Leone, leone's arms are 2 kilos at best) well,classic and classy her,she silently came and spat on the face of haters in this appearance in a Manish Malhotra spree for what seem she 197th Kalyan store launch......more power to them. The minor gripe we have with is the unnesseary but mandatory product placement via the gold jewelry by the brand, I guess weddings are slowly going extinct except for wedding even there,diamonds is crushing it slowly.
Anywho, back to the diamond we were talking about,Aishwarya ,we seriously don't know what we did in our previous lives to have the honor of existing in a Universe of her presense, to think this November 19,  she will be celebrating 20 yes 20 f-ing years of her crowning as Miss World and I mean look at her!!and look at say Megan Old......zameen asmaan ladies and gaytelmen........

It would bt fair to compare her to his year's lot or last decade or the future 1000 billion years.....and that's what we love about her,Aishwarya Rai, the woman who simply never had any competition.

Credit to owner of images..

Pinkvilla.com

The fabulous Jhataleka's Miss International fashion diary

As we speak or write Jhataleka Malhotra the fabulous one is fighting tooth and nail to bring home india's forbidden crown of Miss International,as you guys may know by now,we are completely in love with Jhataleka from the moment we saw her,so much is our devotion that she evn had a fabulous life edition and was our favorite over the insipid white toothpick Koyal Rana who is now an insipid toothpick with new headlights.....Jhataleka like her name is all things fabulous and blingy, so it comes as no surprise that her wardrobe has already caused jaw pains to her flow contestants whoz jaws drop Everytime she comes out of her hotel room......its been predicted that she is a huge favorite(no surprises there) for the crown and we can't wait for the finale come 11 November.......for now let's take a look at her amazing wardrobe that has caused mass decline in the sales of sushi in Japan coz people are saving up for a shopping trip to India thx to her......

We wanna begin with the gold Zuhair Murad looking gown which we suspect is a Rakesh Agarwal creation,it's a classic Jhataleka piece coz she is synonymous with bling as we all know....she was rumored to hav owned custom made gold embroidered Huggies diapers as a toddler so this one was an easy choice for her, what we love is the movie star styling via the flowers next to her bun,it makes her looked like an actress from the 70's,drunk in the green room of a filmfare awards ceremony waiting for her best actress trophy,of course in a good way, it looks expensive enough to feed the population of Madhya Pradesh for 96 weeks.  sheer genius!!!

Next is the grecian goddess/silent seductress look by Swapnil Shinde,the expensive gold work on the bodice and the romantic simplicity of the skirt, simplicity via hair and make up and  a good clutch,givin her the look of a grecian goddess resting for peace or a conniving Cleopatra on her way to seducing to her throne or simply put,what Beyonce would wear while lounging at home. She can be planning or just resting you never know.......she wore this at a  party where the Japanese men,who are not known to be able to resist silent seductresses had a hard time queuing in line for the bathroom to use the air dryer to dry off a very questionable part of their pants......our grandmother Madhuri Dixit has this to say,"PERFECT"!!!

For a stroll around the city,while the rest of the contestants chose the usual bandage dresses or stuff found in the discount bin at Forever21 , the fabulous Jhataleka channeled her inner olivia palermo via pairing a very Burberry looking trench coat with an emerald necklace that caused a traffic jam which could put mumbai traffic to shame!! That's not all,she even carried a matching umbrella to boot. The Hajarikus in the streets of Tokyo are cleaning up thx to Jhataleka.

Okay we dt love all her looks,some coz its not fabulous enough for her,like the baby pink off shoulder gown she wore which of course had  a gold trim(if there isn't anything gold,she will not be able to breath)it's just too mature for her,something Mrs . Malhotra shud wear when she comes to watch her daughter come finale.

Which bring us to uninspiring and unmatched bikini, unlike MU and MW the girls don't get uniformed bikinis and it could be a very big factor in judging if your bikini isn't fabulous enough,remember Esha Gupta's sari blouse and tattered sarong look at Miss international vs Priscilla's gold one piece???Also the fact that the top part is so big and eats up atleast 3 inches off of her torso is a major concern ,we jus hope she has a better one saved up for finale.

She was the winner of best costume at FMI and was totally undeserving, knowing her,she probably turned her nose up and took a few extra sip of oxygen when she was showed a Ritu Kumar lahenga,this time around she has a rather simple lahenga and a made to cause conjunctivitis choli,her wings has a bunch of costume heads of various types of indian performing arts make up sadly the head of Deepti Sati's she tore off when she dared to cross her during FMI was missing. It's a good costume and the refreshing change in costume presentation lately from miss indias is heartwarming but we do not particularly love this but it's a good costume nevertheless,does it beat Neha Hinge's warrior costume,no!but is it enough,yes!!sadly enough isn't enough for Jhataleka,she deserves the Taj Mahal or the indian Ocean as her costume.

Onto her more casual attire or shud we say wedding dress for us normal people???

She landed in Japan in this fabulous
White top and black jeans number while a leather jacket was also spotted, a Burberry scarf had the honor of hanging on her shoulders.....the show stopper was the illusion of never ending legs via the same hue of black pants and shoes.....just gorgeous....

In one of her first appearance,she wore the black striped grey dress showing the right amount of sexy and naughty with a demure neckline and black stockings,kryptonite to most men, this look presented her as a more demure version of her jhatak self as baccha baccha knows that that's the preferred look for a Miss International . we love the pop of color via the blue bag,it's one of the those dresses u ask,where did she buy that???bt never have the guts to go ask her coz she is too gorgeous!!!

Ok we do not like the blue anchor print shirt,white denims and brown boots combo,it just doesn't represent Jhataleka,it looks like something Navneet Kaur Dillen would wear on her wedding day. Jhataleka has  minor flaw,she isn't 8 ft tall like her fellow contestants like Yoshiki and Tj Bhanu, so as to why she would be wrapped in white pats and her legs being cut off with boots like that boggles our minds....we wanna use that stick shez holding to thrash whoever did this to her.....

Onto happier outfits,speaking of which yellow ,the happy color,the canary blazer and Japanese garden print dress topped off with a Tory Birch(not from Bandra or online,we confirmed) is a sight to sore eyes,as if her beauty wasn't enough,she came up with this fabulous combo to torture her fellow contestants who could do nothing bt pale down in comparison. TRES CHIC!

One of our favorite look of her is the striped pant suit she wore when was making a speech,as to how any other sense was working for anyone else except sight,stare and drool is beyond us,it looks like it is made from the skin of an extinct animal,something the likes of sure shot winners like Dayana would get a chance to wear as a Miss Venezuela competing for Miss Universe. The Tory Birch handbag makes a second appearance and doesn't disappoint, if she wore that tot he UN we would be living in a world of peace the moment she ends her speech.PERFECTION!!!

We wanna wish Jhataleka Malhotra all the very best for finale and congratulate the Miss India team on a job well done again,the fact that we don't have much to bitch about is something we genuinely love. So here's a toast of the finest moet champagne to the fabulous Jhataleka and her team . May the fur crown be yours and our.....We love you J.

credit to Jhataleka"s and Femina Miss India fb page for images.

#jhataleka 

Roti,kapda aur makaan.......is Urvashi Rautela all that a man needs in life???

While investigating relevant pageant news recently,we came across a funny news of how our one time I am she winner Urvashi Roti-la formerly known as Urvashi Rot-in-hella (after her stupid contract mashup with I am she)........we havnt heard much about her so we assumed she was still mourning the dead of her character in the grand debut she made in that flop movie which changed the definition of acting in indian cinema....or that she was out winning more beauty pageants like miss model Asia cruise Pacific or miss tourism conquest world and other such relevant titles she has under her belt but no,madam was donning her blonde wig in a honey singh video......why must she get into miss indias way all the tym????wasn't #koyalrana (whom we also assume is lying motionless in a  coffin sumwer)supposed to star in it???Anyhow we dt mind her presence or absence onscreen but we wud mind her absence on our plate,alongside dal and sabzee,it seems she has gained weight or is being groomed by an unlicensed chinese plastic surgeon coz day by day she resembles a freshly rolled dough from a  roti commercial on homeshop18, that and the dangerously oriental features she has possessed somehow....its like looking at Britney Spears sing,her lips are moving bt the song is different,like that,it is Urvashi bt it isn't her somehow.....I mean since I'm assuming she is "18" again for the 22th time this year, she has time to actually make a comeback or some would say actually make a landing coz shez basically flying high in her own world with a handful or admirers even now and then.......when she turned 18 a few years back for the 18th time she had won I am she,the most relevant irrelevant pageant shez won to date......people were goin gaga over her,declaring her miss universe and other impossible shit like that,but then she had to give up her crown,we won't relive the drama coz there wasnt any,but we will relive her fall from grace and how her meteoric rise hit a debris of poor choices that ended up in a honey singh video(trust me,it is not an achievement)..........why and how is it that sumone who was hailed miss universe ended up in the lowest rung of celebrity hood???There are actors,sportstars,tv stars,models,musicians,designers,politicians,reality TV stars,beauty queens,make believe celebrities and then comes the has beens of which she was recently elected the president(wow another achievement).......If we review our timeline ,had she not come into bollywood and took part in miss diva,we wudnt hav manasi moghe and we dt wanna imagine that,but it's no secret that she wudda win bt now shez popping up in uncovered events and probably the honey singh video will be the best thing that ever happened to her.what happened Urvashi???answer me.....is it the i am she curse???coz we recently saw Kiran from i am she 2011 top 5 in a  commercial for v wash(liquid soap for vajayjay and other important areas) and she wasn't even the main model......lol. #urvashirautela

Miss Diva Universe 2014

LOVE LOVE LOVE Miss Diva....the production value,the focus on the girls,Lara Dutta,the works.......Congrats to Natasha and her team for a fabulous production.....

Girls were lovely and although first few were absolutely fillers.....quality took a giant leap starting from Monisha.......the girl is plain gorgeous,luscious if you may....she is ready facially but weirdly got eliminated pretty soon which can be answered by Diva team i guess,but given how well this entire contest was handled ,i seriously do not have a problem with it, we do hope she come back and kicks some serious butt after some modelling and life experience...........which takes us to Vartika,pure genius creation of God,padma Lakshmi merged with Ujjwala Raut,though she came in with the typical unexperienced gorgeous girl syndrome,sumone else might have died n the first week but she made it to the finals with her sheer gorgeousity coz she cant walk or talk or emote to save her pageant career,hope she comes back and makes  a giant leap of progress unlike Lopa,whom we feel makes little progress here and there,progress she does bt in limited quotient and never enough,Lopa is good,maybe make a good model but she will never be among the top 3 most stunning girls in a pageant line up so she shud seriously give up her pageant dreams,Asha is someone we like,like being the key word here,she reminds us of the confident,evolving beauty of the 90's but leaves a question,does she belong there?she also registers a bit mature,although not old looking bt jus mature........Alankrita reminds us of a young-er Natasha Grover,she is smart and poise and yada yada yada and will do well werever she goes,only concern is she registers mean,bitchy can be good bt she seems mean..........Chahat looks like a goegeous ,filthy rich ,trust fund baby from new delhi ,posh and very unattainable and she shud remain dat..........Nidhi seriously needs to have some coffee and red bull,her goegeous face is a giant thud to her sleepy personality.......shreeradhe beautiful she is but history is gawa dat short hair is not pageant,femina tested that water with ekta and we all know how well dat turned out,we liked her answer to akshay kumar's khiladi question though,coz to a normal person it translates to a player and who the fuck wnats a player for a husband(except twinkle maybe?lol)khiladi maybe ur brand bt it also has a real meaning Akshay grow up.............shruti iyer,aigo inni unnu porke lo???she has improved leaps and bounds and deserves  her own one woman show in Las Vegas for her talent performance bt she needs to cncentrate in modelinga nd performance,its sad that she wnated universde somuch and seemed genuine in her quest for the crown bt shez just not right for it.......Hida reminds us of a cross breed between Lara and neetu chandra,she has  alovely vocie bt shud stick to modelling,she seemed out of place in a pagenat scenario...........and finally all the best to Noyonita Lodh,confirmed top 5 finalist for MU2014/15.......she has everything goin for her,Dr.sabira and Dentist lele needs to work overtime bt she will be fine,she is everythng pageant fans of india(all 17 of them) have been praying for........

all in all happy with Diva and we can jus feel the chills for Femina Miss India coz its gonna be amazing by the looks of this step sister pageant.........we also cnat wait fr the trio to start fucking up so that we cna tear them to pieces............but seriously though,gr8 trio,gr8 pagenat,Gr8 Lara Dutta.............Sushmata BYE!!!!

credit to miss diva facebook page for image.
We miss you MANASI MOGHE and we love you.......all he best for your acting career..........bye Shristi Rana ever gorgeous and bye to the other one whoz always smiling.

Zoya 2.0 Gail

Gail pales down in comparison to most humans but she is apparently representing "us" at some contest called miss United nations dt confuse it with the UN coz they dt give a fuck abt girls like Gail or a pageant. The pageant is self contradictory in its name , a bunch of United nations compete against each other?what,to separate?for a crown and a prize of less than $10k m sure.....?like hell it is,so back to male sorry Gail she apparently got the best national costume wearing what seems like a large costume bt in fact it's Yukta Mookhey son's Legos . yes the block game kids build so dat they can destroy when it's tall enough,kinda like this United nations pageant getting a  bunch of United countries compete against each other and destroy each other,brilliant. Probably made by the same losers whoz definition of a costume is big,loud and gaudy like she wore at Femina,her costume is anything bt representing us......maybe it's a metaphor that indians dt give a fuck abt dat pageant or her . Bye Gai.

Miss World Venesuelaaaaa

So,osmel  for some reasons still wants to hold Miss world Venezuela and we fail to understand  why???Everyone knows he only wants Miss Universe,is it his stubbornness or just business decision we dont know......our spy at Venevision is getting her 34th nose job and cant report to us at this moment.Anyways all we see here is a lot of hair and a blue satin fabric being given the blue crown's sneha ullal or zarine khan version......meaning the cheaper,uglier version....last year when this second hand pageant began,which btw is grander than the grand Femina pageant we all thought it would produce queens by the dozen,on the first year itself,they pulled an Ushoshi and disappeared somewhere in the competition. We  are sending a very white Koyal this year and overconfident like everyyear like our arch nemesis Philippines. .....speaking of koyal,I think her boob job is done bt she hasnt realy transformed at all,im sure 5 days before pageant,at rush hour sabira will inject and intercept her white lil ass and a wardrobe will colelct their reject leftover and falguni and shane will donate and a gown and off she goes.......while as we speak the new miss venezuela world has already gone through 20 hours of exercise and 17 surgeries since winning.....okay now we will see.......all the best to these babies.....see you at......(wer is it gonna be held this year?)

Queen of ugly gowns

So I was browsing around and found out that Unnur something who wqs crowned miss world in 2005 got married recently......mi remmber the year she won,I was in the city with my frens competing in a shady drag queen competition which I didnt even win......well as you guys may know by now,we do not deliver news,we make them spicy so that you all have interest in reading them,I remember how we all made fun of her gown calling it her grandma's gown,ironically turns out,It actually was her grandmother's gown,yowza!!!!She was said to have won coz of her mother's friendship with Julia sexy Morley.........anyways,her wedding gown ,glimpses of what I saw ,I find it so ugly I am thinking if this girl even owns her own clothes coz im 100% sure that one also belongs to her grandmother.......she did shy away from pageant girl tradition of marrying an old dying businessman(ahem Olexandria Nalolyenko ahem).......so herez wishing the couple a happy life but if it turns out to be a  sad one,We dont fucking care.BYE!

The Aishwarya Rai interview you wont wanna miss......

She became a supermodel from a single tv ad,won miss india,then miss world,became an actor,did a bunch of movies and acted in 2 or 3 of them....married Junior B,had a kid and now she is back,before her movie shoot begins,Aishwarya Rai sat down with us for an exclusive one on one.......

PP. Hey Ash,thanks for being with us today,it is such an honour to be in your presence........what we really wanna know first of all is,why did you take so long to come back??

AR. I think my mom in law overheard you saying Ash, so I would recommend you to not make eye contact with her and refused to drink anything she serves that isnt sealed, coming back to your question, I dt know why you call it a comeback,I mean where did I really go???I was always doing ads and making appearances here and there,yes, I didnt do movies coz I wanted to give motherhood time and enjoy my daughter's formative years but ive never really left.....
           Side note-We did not touch anything with a Jaya Bacchan hologram, one of my assistants accidentally look Miss senior B in the eye and froze to a living corpse and yes she did leave,for a long long time,you can't go back to office after taking 2 month's break and say I never left.

PP. Did you miss the profession when you left,err, sorry paused or I dunno coma?

AR. Yes and no,you do miss the creative process of film making but I got to channel my creative juices into my mothering skills and that was equally or more satisfying.....

PP. Some people accused you of being ashamed of your pageant background as you never realy discuss it like say,Sushmita Sen does....
AR. That is completely untrue,I talk about my pageant experience fondly and vividly whenever I am asked about it.......its just by God's grace ive achieved so much more in life that people have a lot more curiosity out of me than just my previous title which dates back 20 years,november 19 this year marks 20th anniversary of my crowning,see?I knew that......
       Side note- Poor Sush,whoz only legacy seems to be the title she won 20 years ago, we do agree with Aishwarya here, she has had a LOT to discuss in those 20 years...

PP. Thats amazing,are you planning some sort of celebration?Any fun memories during those days?

AR. Oh so many.......I was so young back then,I remmber meeting the late Nelson Mandela, my room, the fact that my gown ripped into pieces just before I left......such vivid memories and stories Aradhya is soon to listen to, as far as celebration goes,maybe ill have a  small dinner with people that really helped me that time,like Hemant Trivedi and Pradeep Guha but I havnt really given it much of a thought honestly.

PP. A while  back there were so many negative feedback regarding your weightgain and refusal to lose it immediately,now that we can see you are back to maybe pre-dhoom 2 size,how do you look back on all of those reports?

AR. I was shocked!!I couldn't believe the amount of pressure we put on women to look a certain way,it definitely woke me up on this issue and maybe I wouldve worked out and did something rigorous had these reports not come in but after they did,I tood myself,Aishwarya lose this weight like any other woman out there does on a  daily basis, woman who doesnt have the kind of access to losing weight the way I would do,I owed it to everyone women out there who have gone through body criticism to show them that it is normal and it is also doable......

PP. Wow thats truly inspiring,as you know we are a pageant blog should we would like you to give aspiring young girls tips on achieving success....

AR. Be confident, that is so important,it just reflect even in the way you just sit in a corner,be yourself and dont be disheartened by failures,I mean,I lost to a gawky 18years oo
Ld nobody from out of nowhere(our jaws on the floor!!!!) But look what I made out of life and look what she.....err...umm...sorry got lil carried away.Just remember to be yourself and look at the big picture in life.

PP. Thats some sound advice,we wanna know if you still follow pageants and who's your favourite miss india and miss world lately?

AR. From the time I entered movies I didnt get much chance to follow pageants but I do enjoy watching them live when it is on. From the newer lot, I am such a fan of Priyanka Chopra and what she has achieved, I also liked Wenxia Yu of China, she seems like a very genuine girl.

PP. Ok that nice, what about this year's Miss india Koyal Rana?what do you think her chances are?

AR. Oh she's a sweetheart,so much innocence and sensuality in her eyes,I wish her all the luck in the world
       Side note- that was Aishwarya in pageant mode,answering question without answering  the question .

PP. Finally a message to your fans.....
AR. I love you all and thanks for all your support. Believe in yourself coz you aee all worth it.

      Dunno bout her but last time I checked I was worth rs.5347  according to my bank statement.

Thats it ladies AR in the raw for y'all.........fact or fiction you decide......

Credit to image owners

The mind of a married man....

As with all blind post,its upto you to make lemonades of the lemons I am about to serve you,hints will be dropped and the samajhdars ko ishara hi kaafi hoga......here it goes,retired male model of the early 90's known for his sticky finger in and around up and coming models and actresses,married obviously,kids obviously,has had a reputation of having no reputation.........the scraps he was able to collect from his decade long homosexual rondezvous is still paying his bills,no job satisfies him like the jolt of white semen flowing out his as witnesses claim,rather small modesty......modest being a trait he doesnt posses,so badly he sucked at his last job,he was replaced by someone who dont even hav a fashion background.......the circle naysayers are quick to chirp that he is yet to be replaced bt confirmed it is that he has been sacked,like an unwelcomed cat,he dragged along the last of his protégé who was stupid enough to confuse this mutual benefit relationship for a relationship......the girl in question,quite famous for her antics herself told one her friends that it started as an accident,meaning she tripped and her mouth fell into his erected banana.....now both down and out,completely aliented from the given circle they were disowned from are fooling each other to believe that they have something big coming in life,between the white powders and excessive alcohol intake,the hospital or rehab seems like the biggest thing they will ever enter.......the girl,dying to shed her behenji image shed every item of her inhibitions and personality claims insiders is a downright mess, a lost ,lonely and confused girl in an industry hungry to tear her apart,the guy still believes he is THE man hallucinates and tom toms to everyone whoz willing to listen with the only one hearing those words being the girl.Misery does love company and when u bring misery onto urself and do it as a team,the possibilities of fucking up is even more as evident in these two lab mices who angel scientists are studying for project-God gave them everything,how did they ruin it so bad????
The crown of thorns she wears and the beer belly he sports can be seen once every 8 months or so at an event no self respecting media person would ever be willing to cover.......Here's to self destructive so called titans who some say,deserve what they got.

Vogue shudnt hav been invited at the awards red carpet edition

In the west Vogue like its meaning is a fashion bible......considered to be the mecca of all thats fashionable,in India like from our tvs to condoms,its getting royally fucked in the ass by the gaand phar Bollybrigade, its no surprise to see only filmi crowd in the red carpet and no models or designers,gracing the event was future Katrina Kaif and sunny leone without the boobs Koyal Rana, future Mallika Sherawat in a trashy Rakhi Sawant manner Jhhataleka and Minnie Mouse aka future Mowgli Gail Fernandes or dsouza or something, given the host ,the ladies (sum might argue if they are)wore tgeir fashionable best,Koyal decided to skip trying this time coz she got bored of looking herself so she cut out fabric from her sofa and wrapped around her waist, to add the necessary ta ky amount of miss india bling,she painted a bark of tree gold and wore it as a top,mucho creative we must admit,this may be not a good time to admit but we no longer love Jhataleka,shez been avoiding our chai and samosa sessions ever since she wore that ugly crown,she now takes inspiration from man-force Nicole Faria and is slowly turning into a man,she shud go easy on the testosterone coz at her last fittings one of the stylists meowed to that she felt two balls in a place in J's anatomy where no woman should be growing a pair(like literally),newho still hoping for a visit to Gaylippines J channeled her earthy side by wrapping herself in the remains of a zebra she strangled to death the day before this event(go easy on the testosterones J,pls!!!)I dunno if its true bt rumour has it that she took on the zebra bare hand and ripped its head off at one go(Hercules,anyone??), te to Talleres swears that the head of the poor endargered species is hanging proudly in the common room at the Malhotra residence right next to Deepti Sati's head(the first known Jhataleka's victim)........yawn yawn here comes the cross breed product of a jungle orgy we wish to never relive,a monkey and a mouse pursuaded a chihuahua to the back side of Shobhita Dhulipala's Den in Jim Corbett park and did things that could put Savita Bhabhi and her escapades to shame!! after 9 months Gail crawled out.......she crawled since then all the way to Miss India 2nd runners up title,here she decided to send Femina team a msg by making it clear wer there should be headlights and how large they can be.........haunted by nightmares of a hungry Zoya Afroz swallowing her alive,poor girl is channeling her inner Navneet Dillen by flaunting those trendy under eyeshadows........okkk enuf for now folks......do send in more tips to pageant.police1@gmail.com. ....thx try234 for this pathetic update u send on these 3 namunis......

Credit to photo owners n shit like that.