Warning- Smiling may cause damage to the o-zone layer.

That seems to be the motto that the supremely poised however cold Alankrita Sahai is channeling during her stint at Miss Earth 2014......Miss Earth is generally modelled after Miss Universe in terms of the stage presentation and Miss International in terms of being monitored for your behaviour during the duration,it also has many sub titles and unnecessary activities like Miss World.......Some might wonder the lack of originality in the pageant but worry not,the girls also get to plant trees and sometimes visit kids and dying people. Sobhita last year seemed like a perfect fit coz the girl may not be the most polite or cheerful but she can fake it pretty good,yes,when she runs put of her mottos and phrases she reads online all day,she suddenly goes silent but out of the three that were "marc"ed last year, no one could argue that she was the one who put in the most effort,I'm talking abt Sobhita coz last year,rumor has it that the Filipino nunw who was chaperoning her had not so nice things to say abt her according to Filipino Misssosologists ,my worry is,Alankrita for some reason looks like she's ready to punch sumone or lost her teeth, one look at her photos till now and she looks like she is about to go on a corporate bidding war for stock shares of google, she seems so serious and ready to bite . Since we are generally a bitchy blog ,her organiser or she herself may not like what we hav to write or say but in all honesty what we say comes from a place of love and concern for our delegates,it's pageant that's on our hearts and not bitchiness , so one must understand that the message may not be delivered in a silk covered silver tray but it still is for the good. We liked Alankrita,she is old school miss india,the kind that come for the crown and soaks in the experience and come finale night ,grabs the mike and the crown in that order, pageants being driven lil by politics,business stats and favoritism these days(with which we are totally ok)a girl like Alankrita may be given too many reasons for her failure incase she does,the goal here is to make no mistakes and have them eat shit when they are being unfair,if they are being unfair,in the long run it would not be so disheartening to the girl and the organisation coz they will know they did their best. With Alankrita , we are writing this piece coz of the following pics accompanying this blog entry......she apparently was crowned(literally got a crown,mind you) for best casual wear,to us humans casual wear is a pair of sweatpants and one of the same design in 3 colors tshirt we bought on buy one get one free corner of a supermarket but her casual wear here is a black lacey number complete with the mandatory bling,as to why she isn't smiling or showing some kind of gratitude can be best answered by her and God,since we are not gonna be having a conversation with either one of them in the near future,we are assuming it's the Srishti Rana MAP like crown that had her pissed, in another pic where she literally looks like a super nanny or a socialite with 18 nannies,she reluctantly holds a baby and seems to not enjoy doing it,a  paraguan Asha Bhat is seen smiling next to her ,maybe givin her a hint or two, in a group selfie for Miss Philippines phone camera,she chooses to smoulder instead of the happiness the girls around her are spreading, which is understandable coz posing for her own phone camera she refrains from smiling while the paraguan Asha Bhat's jaw is probably hurting by now for the permanent smile planted on her face,she smiles in a group shot in one of the pics and it honestly creeps us out thinking what she actually might be thinking,in a rare real smile,she is wearing a yellow outfit which we dt like but hope her gown is in that color coz she looks really stunning and Miss Earth like ,in a shocking twist a few days later,wearing what seems to be a sponsored bikini judging by the quality,she looks like a kingfisher wannabe who just got an earful from Atul Kasbekar, Shruti iyer wud know what we mean.
We sincerely believe that the diva batch is miles ahead of the fmi batch this gear,to nurture so much hope from them and for Alankrita to hav not come out of her shell yet is an utter disappointment,we were honestly hoping for Asha to go to earth bt were equally thrilled with Alankrita coz thru out the diva series she more or less was top 3 in every round and we had so much expectations coz of that. We sincerely wish her all the best in her quest for the title and hope that it's a part of a large strategic planning made before she landed........As we speak Asha and Koyal have already made their way to their respective pageants,so it's gonna be a busy month......here's wishing all of them the very very very bestests of bests and hope for a no pink flouncy bridesmaid wear for their gowns, a topic which will be on our next post in the nest few hours.......

Credits to Femina fb page ,missosology and miss Earth org for images....thank you guys.

Plagiarism to a whole new level

So days before,out cry for plagiarism went to deaf ears as Alankrita wore the gown "designed" by Nivedita Saboo at the evening gown competitions of miss Earth and get this ,got the gold medal for it. Where is Gaurav Gupta???Where is the moral of these PEOPLE . RIP creativity and indian pride.

Credit to missosology for images or maybe i shud just say,its my on pic like Nivedita saboo wuld.

Here's the ink to our previous post...............

http://pageantpolice.blogspot.in/2014/11/uh-ooplagiarism-once-more.html

Ash and Sush.....legends that bind

Around this time 20 years ago,the whole witnessed the crowning of a Goddess claiming what rightfully is her.....Aishwarya Rai was crowned miss world 1994 and we relive those memories with tears on our eyes,it was also a special gift to Miss universe 1994 Sushmita Sen who's birthday is on 19th November.......she turns 39 today......the two titans of pageantry has this and many more to share for the rest of time .......A tribute to Ash and Sush as they are lovingly called,thanks for inspiring a generation and generations to come.....We also hope and pray for Noyonita Lodh and Koyal Rana to recreate the same magic........all the best to them.

Credit to owner of images.....

Uh oo.......Plagiarism once more......

While snooping around beautypageants.indiatimes.com , the fashion police got an alert and we were shocked to see what we saw,at first ,the first thing we could say was,so nice of Gaurav Gupta to lend his gown ,wait, why did he destroy the the bottom part and attach that awful cheap organza quenceneara costume reject fabric at the bottom but whoops.......our eyes went to the bottom and it's boldly written, designer- Nivedita Saboo, gee!!! we wonder where she got the idea to create this liquid beaded gold gown and organza monstrosity that resembles the Gaurav Gupta gown we saw on Deepika Padukone at the Filmfare Awards this year. As to how many problems we have with this entire situation is literally uncountable......

We wanna question the participants of this 1st degree fashion murder....

1st Nivedita Saboo- up until today we've never heard or known of your existence as a designer,is this a cry for attention,lack of creativity or plain hobby of fucking up a perfectly beautiful gown???? Repeat after us,copying at this level is theft!!! Just look at the way you have killed the beauty of the neck area or is it ur creative touch???why commit such a fashion crime, if you were lacking so much in creativity, why not google some unknown designer ,say in,Isreal and copy his/her design???To top it all off,it was worn by the queen bee of bollywood right now at the most prestigious award ceremony in india,how did you ever think you were gonna get away with it???baffles us....maybe that was ur intention.

Eesha Amiin- if only adding an extra E to your name would add anything to your styling credibility......We've heard of her sadly, she's been associated with Femina Miss India for sometym now, long ago Ami Patel, Priyankachopra s stylist said that if a garment was worn overseas like, say in a hollywood event,repeating in India is perfectly ok coz the market is different,we agree to that on every level but look at the stupidity of your action, you've not only chosen an ugly,modified version of a stunning gown but you've also given it to a short girl(for pageant standards) Alankrita Sahai a gown that cuts her off at her knees and makes her look 5.2 ,cut off by dat ugly fabric, I doubt any stylist with an acceptable amount of taste in fashion to give something that includes that fabric to a girl representing the country internationally. We are most mad at the stylist at this point coz the designer had a chance of making that gown and vanishing into watever fashionless hole she crawled out of......but for a stylist to do this!!! Don't you do your homework, look around other stylists works,check event photos???how do you function??do u sit in Nivedita Saboo's "studio" sipping cutting chai and throwing watever comes to your hands to the nearest victim???we feel sorry for Alankrita, God knows what other copy items does she have in her suitcase if she was styled by this so called stylist .......it would also be interesting to see what Gaurav has to say about this.....

We wanna question the people involved with the shoot,seriously not one of them stopped to ask whaaaaaaaat???? Anyways we will give them the benefit of doubt coz it was not their job

Finally ,do we remmber the Elie Saab and Rajat Tangri fiasco in 2010 when the latter gave a cheaper version of Saab's creation to Ushoshi Sengupta??? Atleast the designer bother to changed sides of the arm and color.....unlike Madam Nivedita who just added again,dat ugly fabric.....oo Ohhh my eyes!!!!

Credits to owners of images.
Highheelconfidential.com beautypageants.indiatimes.com missosology forum.

Aishwarya Rai's Aadhi kilo ka haath

Aishwarya Rai, the only living Goddess of the World for the pat few years was weathering some unnecessary storm in the form of her pregnancy,motherhood,weight gain,blah blah blah.....
Some comment i read online even referred her arms to a dhai kilo ka haath flaunting Sunny,(Deol not Leone, leone's arms are 2 kilos at best) well,classic and classy her,she silently came and spat on the face of haters in this appearance in a Manish Malhotra spree for what seem she 197th Kalyan store launch......more power to them. The minor gripe we have with is the unnesseary but mandatory product placement via the gold jewelry by the brand, I guess weddings are slowly going extinct except for wedding even there,diamonds is crushing it slowly.
Anywho, back to the diamond we were talking about,Aishwarya ,we seriously don't know what we did in our previous lives to have the honor of existing in a Universe of her presense, to think this November 19,  she will be celebrating 20 yes 20 f-ing years of her crowning as Miss World and I mean look at her!!and look at say Megan Old......zameen asmaan ladies and gaytelmen........

It would bt fair to compare her to his year's lot or last decade or the future 1000 billion years.....and that's what we love about her,Aishwarya Rai, the woman who simply never had any competition.

Credit to owner of images..

Pinkvilla.com

The fabulous Jhataleka's Miss International fashion diary

As we speak or write Jhataleka Malhotra the fabulous one is fighting tooth and nail to bring home india's forbidden crown of Miss International,as you guys may know by now,we are completely in love with Jhataleka from the moment we saw her,so much is our devotion that she evn had a fabulous life edition and was our favorite over the insipid white toothpick Koyal Rana who is now an insipid toothpick with new headlights.....Jhataleka like her name is all things fabulous and blingy, so it comes as no surprise that her wardrobe has already caused jaw pains to her flow contestants whoz jaws drop Everytime she comes out of her hotel room......its been predicted that she is a huge favorite(no surprises there) for the crown and we can't wait for the finale come 11 November.......for now let's take a look at her amazing wardrobe that has caused mass decline in the sales of sushi in Japan coz people are saving up for a shopping trip to India thx to her......

We wanna begin with the gold Zuhair Murad looking gown which we suspect is a Rakesh Agarwal creation,it's a classic Jhataleka piece coz she is synonymous with bling as we all know....she was rumored to hav owned custom made gold embroidered Huggies diapers as a toddler so this one was an easy choice for her, what we love is the movie star styling via the flowers next to her bun,it makes her looked like an actress from the 70's,drunk in the green room of a filmfare awards ceremony waiting for her best actress trophy,of course in a good way, it looks expensive enough to feed the population of Madhya Pradesh for 96 weeks.  sheer genius!!!

Next is the grecian goddess/silent seductress look by Swapnil Shinde,the expensive gold work on the bodice and the romantic simplicity of the skirt, simplicity via hair and make up and  a good clutch,givin her the look of a grecian goddess resting for peace or a conniving Cleopatra on her way to seducing to her throne or simply put,what Beyonce would wear while lounging at home. She can be planning or just resting you never know.......she wore this at a  party where the Japanese men,who are not known to be able to resist silent seductresses had a hard time queuing in line for the bathroom to use the air dryer to dry off a very questionable part of their pants......our grandmother Madhuri Dixit has this to say,"PERFECT"!!!

For a stroll around the city,while the rest of the contestants chose the usual bandage dresses or stuff found in the discount bin at Forever21 , the fabulous Jhataleka channeled her inner olivia palermo via pairing a very Burberry looking trench coat with an emerald necklace that caused a traffic jam which could put mumbai traffic to shame!! That's not all,she even carried a matching umbrella to boot. The Hajarikus in the streets of Tokyo are cleaning up thx to Jhataleka.

Okay we dt love all her looks,some coz its not fabulous enough for her,like the baby pink off shoulder gown she wore which of course had  a gold trim(if there isn't anything gold,she will not be able to breath)it's just too mature for her,something Mrs . Malhotra shud wear when she comes to watch her daughter come finale.

Which bring us to uninspiring and unmatched bikini, unlike MU and MW the girls don't get uniformed bikinis and it could be a very big factor in judging if your bikini isn't fabulous enough,remember Esha Gupta's sari blouse and tattered sarong look at Miss international vs Priscilla's gold one piece???Also the fact that the top part is so big and eats up atleast 3 inches off of her torso is a major concern ,we jus hope she has a better one saved up for finale.

She was the winner of best costume at FMI and was totally undeserving, knowing her,she probably turned her nose up and took a few extra sip of oxygen when she was showed a Ritu Kumar lahenga,this time around she has a rather simple lahenga and a made to cause conjunctivitis choli,her wings has a bunch of costume heads of various types of indian performing arts make up sadly the head of Deepti Sati's she tore off when she dared to cross her during FMI was missing. It's a good costume and the refreshing change in costume presentation lately from miss indias is heartwarming but we do not particularly love this but it's a good costume nevertheless,does it beat Neha Hinge's warrior costume,no!but is it enough,yes!!sadly enough isn't enough for Jhataleka,she deserves the Taj Mahal or the indian Ocean as her costume.

Onto her more casual attire or shud we say wedding dress for us normal people???

She landed in Japan in this fabulous
White top and black jeans number while a leather jacket was also spotted, a Burberry scarf had the honor of hanging on her shoulders.....the show stopper was the illusion of never ending legs via the same hue of black pants and shoes.....just gorgeous....

In one of her first appearance,she wore the black striped grey dress showing the right amount of sexy and naughty with a demure neckline and black stockings,kryptonite to most men, this look presented her as a more demure version of her jhatak self as baccha baccha knows that that's the preferred look for a Miss International . we love the pop of color via the blue bag,it's one of the those dresses u ask,where did she buy that???bt never have the guts to go ask her coz she is too gorgeous!!!

Ok we do not like the blue anchor print shirt,white denims and brown boots combo,it just doesn't represent Jhataleka,it looks like something Navneet Kaur Dillen would wear on her wedding day. Jhataleka has  minor flaw,she isn't 8 ft tall like her fellow contestants like Yoshiki and Tj Bhanu, so as to why she would be wrapped in white pats and her legs being cut off with boots like that boggles our minds....we wanna use that stick shez holding to thrash whoever did this to her.....

Onto happier outfits,speaking of which yellow ,the happy color,the canary blazer and Japanese garden print dress topped off with a Tory Birch(not from Bandra or online,we confirmed) is a sight to sore eyes,as if her beauty wasn't enough,she came up with this fabulous combo to torture her fellow contestants who could do nothing bt pale down in comparison. TRES CHIC!

One of our favorite look of her is the striped pant suit she wore when was making a speech,as to how any other sense was working for anyone else except sight,stare and drool is beyond us,it looks like it is made from the skin of an extinct animal,something the likes of sure shot winners like Dayana would get a chance to wear as a Miss Venezuela competing for Miss Universe. The Tory Birch handbag makes a second appearance and doesn't disappoint, if she wore that tot he UN we would be living in a world of peace the moment she ends her speech.PERFECTION!!!

We wanna wish Jhataleka Malhotra all the very best for finale and congratulate the Miss India team on a job well done again,the fact that we don't have much to bitch about is something we genuinely love. So here's a toast of the finest moet champagne to the fabulous Jhataleka and her team . May the fur crown be yours and our.....We love you J.

credit to Jhataleka"s and Femina Miss India fb page for images.

#jhataleka 

Roti,kapda aur makaan.......is Urvashi Rautela all that a man needs in life???

While investigating relevant pageant news recently,we came across a funny news of how our one time I am she winner Urvashi Roti-la formerly known as Urvashi Rot-in-hella (after her stupid contract mashup with I am she)........we havnt heard much about her so we assumed she was still mourning the dead of her character in the grand debut she made in that flop movie which changed the definition of acting in indian cinema....or that she was out winning more beauty pageants like miss model Asia cruise Pacific or miss tourism conquest world and other such relevant titles she has under her belt but no,madam was donning her blonde wig in a honey singh video......why must she get into miss indias way all the tym????wasn't #koyalrana (whom we also assume is lying motionless in a  coffin sumwer)supposed to star in it???Anyhow we dt mind her presence or absence onscreen but we wud mind her absence on our plate,alongside dal and sabzee,it seems she has gained weight or is being groomed by an unlicensed chinese plastic surgeon coz day by day she resembles a freshly rolled dough from a  roti commercial on homeshop18, that and the dangerously oriental features she has possessed somehow....its like looking at Britney Spears sing,her lips are moving bt the song is different,like that,it is Urvashi bt it isn't her somehow.....I mean since I'm assuming she is "18" again for the 22th time this year, she has time to actually make a comeback or some would say actually make a landing coz shez basically flying high in her own world with a handful or admirers even now and then.......when she turned 18 a few years back for the 18th time she had won I am she,the most relevant irrelevant pageant shez won to date......people were goin gaga over her,declaring her miss universe and other impossible shit like that,but then she had to give up her crown,we won't relive the drama coz there wasnt any,but we will relive her fall from grace and how her meteoric rise hit a debris of poor choices that ended up in a honey singh video(trust me,it is not an achievement)..........why and how is it that sumone who was hailed miss universe ended up in the lowest rung of celebrity hood???There are actors,sportstars,tv stars,models,musicians,designers,politicians,reality TV stars,beauty queens,make believe celebrities and then comes the has beens of which she was recently elected the president(wow another achievement).......If we review our timeline ,had she not come into bollywood and took part in miss diva,we wudnt hav manasi moghe and we dt wanna imagine that,but it's no secret that she wudda win bt now shez popping up in uncovered events and probably the honey singh video will be the best thing that ever happened to her.what happened Urvashi???answer me.....is it the i am she curse???coz we recently saw Kiran from i am she 2011 top 5 in a  commercial for v wash(liquid soap for vajayjay and other important areas) and she wasn't even the main model......lol. #urvashirautela