Finale Update

Finale update will soon come.We are still waiting on some of the reports our moles are providing and its just too juicy to pose aivaaye......Savdhaan india..........btw Modi was copious by his absence and how Koyal made bail to compete.......for any complaints, write into pageant.police1@gmail.com

Preliminary Part 2-The very important subtitles.

Prelims happened yesterday, not much wtf winners but we're also left with many questions than answers, its always interesting to dissect these titles and really see if they hold anything in the pageant.Lets talk about the first 8 that seem so important by the way they sound, we could not help but club them together.So here are the 2 d set of winners.......

1.Tj Bhanu/Miss Vivacious-Ok, seems like it has something to do with vibes and personality.Our sources are quick to say that its given to the loudest, most out there contestant, of course in a nice way so congrats Bhanu, you are officially heard now.
2.Best Costume-Our beloved leader of the bling ring Jhataleka wins this one, we loved that they added this.However what good is it really gonna do to a contestant? Its better they have designers competing and the winner gets like a spread in Femina Magazine.
3.Miss Sudoku-Calista Malati Flockhart Chahar is our winner, of course it takes brains to play sudoku but you can also lose this game to your 12 years old nephew or your 67 years old grandfather.
4.Miss Active-Tj's white shadow Nikhila as we got to know from Sri Lanka got this title.Active we would judge on how active a girl is throughout the entire pageant and not hide around and be sick all the time ahem**Koyal Rana**but thy were judge on a bunh of activities to see who does best kinda like our next title

5.Miss Iron Maiden-Deepti got this one.The girls spaced through dumbbells , squats and what not??I dunno why these are an assemble, why cant they merge all these activity titles and call it Miss Sports?
6.Miss Congeniality-Sandra Bullock won this fair and square but givenbthe nature of pageants these days, the title goes to the whoz least threatening like Arpita Kaur here.
7.Miss Lifestyle-Unless they were monitored since childhood for their lifestyle choices, I do not get this title.Ofcourse a sponsor is standing next to Sahithya Jaganathan so that partly answer my question.
8.Miss Waterbaby-Manasi crowned her half daughter Mansi Grewal as a waterbaby........it has something to do with swimming and hopefully red one piece swimsuit and lots of running ala Pam Anderson.

Costume cry

We love Jhataleka  , its no new story but we are irked that she won  best costume over some heavy favorites.....Havaldar Hansa is investigating the case.........the done to death peacock mare hiwda mein naache mor holds no candle to the lotus devi  or shortay's who gives a f*ck about theme this is an elaborate outfit......We are surprised Jhataleka didnt win Photogenic aand equally surprised she got this one......stay tuned for more on this......

Who won???

Miss Talent-One of the most important sub-title as it is directly linked to a Miss World fat track  left us with a big question mark.We have two pics, and the CBI is at work  coming up with their theories and conclusion.Here's the report.
1.Yoshiki is getting sashed and  Deepti is standing at the back.a) Yoshiki won and got the crown and Deepti due to a closed called was announced as runner up later, b) Deepti is the winnet and Yoshiki was crowned first as runner up..
2.Deepti is given a prize and stuff but has no sash.Yoshiki has no picture up.
3.Yoshiki is a singer and Deepti a dancer, If Asha Bhonsle and Helen  were to face off, who would win?
Our experts have declared Yoshiki Sindhar as the winner, for now........

Without further adieu, here are the sub titles that means something.

By something we mean, it means  these titles are easier to digest.....Its past midnight so we are all tired and not willing to be corrupted sobwe will be writing a quick I couldnt care less report.
1.Miss Healthy Skin-Koyal Rana of course like DUH! She has such healthy skin she even endorsed a skin care face wash, not nutrogena ao we're pretending we dont knoe.
2.Miss RampWalk-As per our predictions before this event, Varsha Gopal got this easy win..See you at fashion week Varsha, Gopal ko leke aana.......
3.Miss Adventurous-Ok yeah it does sound like the rest of the lame 8 titles but winner Yoshiki Sindhar (who also got this title in delhi last year) got aYAMAHA RAY!!!! If she wins a crown, whih she may, she will hav 2 rays.....its a winner's prize and when you get a winner's prize , your sash can  say Miss Electric Bulb and it will still matter.
4.Timeless beauty-Yo Yo Yo waddup, shor-tay in da hoise, please stand up!!! Gail  the pint size beauty got this one and appropriately so, she is beautifully childlike and still growing.30 never she's gonna be.
5.Best Body-Lopamudra, no surprises there, finally Shilpa Shetty has competition. The girl with the never ending legs and curve pah pah wins this for the 3rd time!!!!!
6.Miss Beautiful Hair-One half of the tag team Bhanu and Nikhu, Nikhila got crowned this title by Manasi Moghe sporting the most beautiful hair.This victory is a lil questionale coz Nikhila has thick but unruly hair.
7.Smile-Irshika Malhotra got this title, winners of this title usually do well or completely disappear, Irshika, where do you stand?
8.Jantee Hazarika-Tum Jantee ho, mujhe do sub titles mile? Hawwww......the NE beauty got Miss Photogenic and Fashion Icon, fashion icon she deserves 110%, photogenic??? Shudve gone to our fav pataka Jhataleka or Yoshiki.

Gulaab gang has a new member.....and she is RICH!

The very elegant and smiley Julia Gimme Morely sat,as usual smiling,as sub-contest was about to start at this year's Miss India.With such a peculiar smile, one cant help but sing,"tum itna jo mushkura rahe ho, kya gham hai jisko chhupa rahe ho............???"

Wearinga  gulaabi blazer she was all poised to take on Trump or Frump or anyon.She might have been labeled a lesbian psychopath many times at some pageant forums but that doesnt affect this true Gulaabi Gang member.......yeh dhoti fadh ke lene walo mein se hai....

Zinda hoon main........

Sings Zoya Afroz letting us know that she's still alive and not really kicking anything besides her stash of flavoured toffee wrappers.......singing along was equally absent Navneet Kaur Dhillon (whoz slowly morphing into Morticia Adams, or has been attending a lot of funerals lately) again in black.....5th time in a row we caught her in black! A very chested Sobhita D joined as she avoided jamming the sharp edges of the crown into a certain sumone's eye balls.
The new crowns are better than last year and a lot better than the barb wire Vanya Mishra had to wear for a year.Here's hoping they crown better winners than these 3 very confusing Miss Indias.