It began with sum singer singing we love girls and we do,it immediately moved on to my favourite segment,dances of the world and it also immediately became my not so favourite segment,i mean was the talent so scarce this year or the performers were picked out from a box of toffe wrappers???they all sucked!!! For sumone who says she is a classically trained and also comtemporary trained, Koyal's dance reminded me of a overage aunty's first performance in Jhalak Dikhlaja.......how does sumone mess up a bollywood number is beyong me,hav u never gotten drunk and attended a wedding Koyal??jus listen to the music and gyrate every damn bone on ur body,dats how its done,the icing on the cake was,when she stopped to re-adjust her ghagra,was it flown in via-agra that it gave u so much trouble????Dont even get me started on the cowboy number by USA,like,wtf girl,is that the only culture USA has to offer???the potluck of all countries???Anyways goodbye to the dances of the world that ill never rewatch,ill probably just rewatch oka choka li dance from last year's Namibia's performance.........Megan was a good host TBH but my favourite is the unassuming and unintentionally funny Julia Morley offspring Steve,oh how they remind me of the evil mother son duo from Miss Congeniality hehehe.........i dint care to remember the other two names but the gay one was super annoying,come out come out of the closet...The girls then paraded in their evening gowns and boy we got to see some major fashion and major fuck ups and miss venezuela also(i thought they dint participate this year)The moment Royal Koyal glided down with her Megan bun and her transparent wrap,i immediately thought,oh boy 90's is here,the only thing missing was the signature diana,yukta,priyanka neckline........i love Lorene's elegant oscar salmon gown(its salmon now girls,bye bye royal blue),the work on Thailand's gown was exquisite,USA's gown was also majorly impactful.
How gorgeous did Aishwarya Rai looked in her Roberto Cavali number???she could compete and still win but if she decides to bring her mummy,hubby and adorable Aradhya in a place where she is being honoured,its a bit of a stretch,look girls,i got the Hubby,the kid,the fame ,the money and the mummy,like puhleeze girl,let me rot in my miserable life,i dt need to see anyone have it all like you,and wat abt the ugly black hooker dresses the girls were wearing for that dance like you are at a wedding number????Miss World is known for class,even Trump wudve found that segment cheap,Aishwarya dont need a bunch of girls dressed identitical in ugly dresses to stand out,lemme repeat,no i dt wanna type again bt still,sentiments.......the unrehearsed,be yourself segment brought out the sexuality of some girls faster than Sunny Leone dancing in a Gurgaon beer bar.It was unnecessary,classless and pitiful,like ,the virus Ebola
They first announced the interview scores and sadly,a country (in)famous for their interview skills dint even make top 25(even Kanishta did)and i knew we were in trouble,one by one all the fasttracks were announced with the semifinalists on stage ,what happened with the girls backstage who knew they no longer stand a chance in hell to win wud've been a sight to see........it was major WTF after WTFs as winners were called,the first one being the so called sing off,its american fuckin idol now???i dt wanna hear of a girl yapping in a high pitched voice with words i havnt heard,dats for rich people to enjoy and pretend to appreciate coz they no longer love normal things.The second major WTF was beauty with a purpose,the judges couldnt make a decision???fuck you,feed that bullshit to your fermented ass,if they couldnt make a decision that means they failed as judges and shudve been fired and left naked in the cold London streets pronto and probably throw ice cold water on them,how hard is it to pick one???Guyana shudve won,simple as that!!!Bosnia and Herzegozivaaree according to Megan was also another wtf,as host,miss world and a human,she shud know how to pronounce Bosnia and Herzegovina.
The show was fast paced up until now but Julia was tired of seeing excited faces so she started her random menopausal moves with the selection of top 5,as to how she and her employees,mind you,none of them were real people,people on her payroll or have been on her payroll rather ,selected the top 5 was ball scratching material. Since it was a pretty good group until England was announced,it was ok,oh England ,the woman who got ready in 1984,was stored in a time capsule and released this year,whoever said Rolene's capsule baby was a rarity dint see this coming,the chinatown satin fabric,the glove,the circa 1980 prom hair,perfection,30 years ago..........at this point i stopped watching coz i was hoping the crown was bought for Koyal this year and although i am against Koyal,i thght it'd be ncie to see India win but hell no,the only benefit of all the money spent on Koyal and Julia was the so called no.1 position in the leaderboard,a copy of which i wanna print,roll it up and shove it up u kno who's ass...........A screaming Natasha Grover,who probably is down with minor problems like depression and major issues like a fucked up throat from all the screaming could be seen sitting right behind Julia and 3 rows above 2 other judges(the sleeping chinese man from 2012 finally was overthrown by these judges who decided to sit and snack with the audience,lol)besides gargling down salt in warm water,Natasha,you revolutionised the Miss India brand,maybe its time to re-evaluate the beuaty quotient, woh sabse shine karti hai is a line you could tell the loosing contestants bt not to Julia and her bitches,she did shine the most bt not like a diamond but like an invisible shine among a cluster of better shaped,better polished and better determined Diamonds and yes, its Koyal we speak of again.
After finding out that Diandra Soares has been eliminated and Salman Khan is the kind of guy you MUST laugh at when he jokes,i switched back to see the girls singing you are the wind under my wings,you are the reason i was made,to JULIA MORLEY!!!excuse me???fuck me Mike Tyson but I mean,did they have an option to refuse to be officially declared a Julia Morley prison bitch infront of a billion live audience?wind under my wings???is she holding a wind machine under the aeroplanes they flew into London from???reason i was made??what,is she gonna marry 121 girls each year???made for what??to please her ego???to satisfy her needs???is there a limit to kissing someone's ass or rather making people kiss your ass???this was the moment Ladies and Gentlemen,atleast Hitler had the balls to torture and punish the ones he dint like,with Julia,you have to do the ass kissing,even if she hates you or you belong to a useless country(for her)like, Guam.Apparently,the girls were interviewed but who wants to hear them speak anyway???Mrs,Morley touched my soul and gave me a giant spiritual orgasm,no thank you...........winners were announced and Hungary should win Miss Universe like,tomorow and usa is Natalie Glebova's Sneha Ullal(uglier version) and they sang and lived happily ever after in the Julia Morley manson where she fans their winds and remind them of their purpose of existence,in all these,i forgot to mention how i love Rolene,if there was a consolation to enduring that 2.5 hours of major snooze fest and Julia Morley ego seduction video,it was her getting the crown,she so deserved it,she reminds me of Brook Shields ,so statesque and empowering,i would buy anything she is selling,Have a great reign Rolene.
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